What Philly sports icons would do as President

With the Presidential race nearing its completion, I thought it would be fun to look at some Philadelphia sports icons, past and present, and take a look at what their first actions might be as Commander in Chief.

 

Eagles

Joe Banner: Raise ticket prices on all federal museums by 50 percent and cut federal salaries by 25 percent.

Rich Kotite: Hire aide whose job it is to make sure the teleprompter for his speeches never gets wet.

Donovan McNabb: Shorten the Super Bowl by five minutes.

Andy Reid: Hire Howard Eskin as his press secretary and forbid running in the White House.

Buddy Ryan: Quadruple the defense budget.

Dick Vermeil: After announcing reducing the work week to 38 hours, Vermeil cuts short his first press conference after crying uncontrollably.

 

Phillies

Darren Daulton: Charter a trip to Mars to test out his new theories.

Jim Fregosi: Seeing how it helped the ’93 Phils, promote drinking and smoking.

Ryan Howard: Eliminate the shift in baseball.

Jamie Moyer: Propose Constitutional amendment to ban term limits on the Presidency.

Pete Rose: Legalize betting on baseball.

Mike Schmidt: Build a golf course outside of the White House and hire Eskin as his full-time caddie.

Chase Utley: Implement seven-second TV/radio delay for all live press conferences.

 

Sixers

Charles Barkley: Build a casino in the White House and add Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan to his cabinet.

Larry Brown: Inform citizens that he will not stay in the White House full-time because he doesn’t like to remain in one place for too long.

Wilt Chamberlain: Declare that the First Lady will be a revolving 24-hour position.

 

Flyers

Bob Clarke: Forbid Bonnie and Carl Lindros from crossing into the U.S.

Ed Snider: Make Bob Clarke vice president for life.

 

Misc.

Phil Martelli: Hold all important galas at the Palestra and excommunicate Lute Olson and Billy Packer.

 

phillysportsbeat@gmail.com

 

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